


Illuminati CONFIRMED!1!

by haarleytargaryen



Series: Band Texts (5SOS) [10]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: I CAUGHT A MUKE MOMENT OKAYFAH, I CRIED THROUGH THE WHOLE THING, I JUST GOT ATTACKED BY A BUG WHILE TYPING IN THE TAGS, I am really sleep deprived if you havent noticed, LUKE IS A SLUT, M/M, Muke - Freeform, Muke is real, RIP AUTUMN LOL, amirite, ashton is horny af, band texts, calum is a jealous fuck, calum thought wrong, enjoy the TRASH, groupchats, how rude, i think these are enough tagshf, it was a blessed day, michael hates calum, not really - Freeform, oh well, oh yeah the band is in the illuminati BUT THAT WAS OBVIOUS LOL, okay i think im done, the muke is strong in this one, the two girls i talked about are my friend and i OBVI, this isnt that good but ya know, um hey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-05
Updated: 2015-08-05
Packaged: 2018-04-13 04:00:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4506912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haarleytargaryen/pseuds/haarleytargaryen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>oh hey...its been awhile. how are you? Are the kids well?? Anyways, ive been okay. Besides all of the fucking bullshit twitter drama im F I N E. I was blessed to go see 5SOS at Tinley Park on the 1st aND I CAUGHT A MUKE MOMENT ON THE BIG SCREEN AND MY HANDS SHOOK THE ENTIRE TIME. MICHAEL KEPT WALKING OVER THROUGH THE ENTIRE SHOW AND I ALMOST SHIT MY PANTSFS. Also, I noticed that the last part of this flopped pretty bad, but whatever. It was shittier than usual, not gonna lie. But thats okay, I hope you like this one! Secondly, I wanted to give a shout out to this lovely creature, KayleighMcCamyo! SHE'S MY NEW CHILD! She's the cutest thing and she writes groupchats just like this one (except SO MUCH BETTER. Yet theyre not as popular......okay)! Anyways, I was reading her stuff and was about to piss myself, so go check those out ;) She proper fangirled on me when she replied to the comment I made, and I WAS SO HONORED IVE NEVER HAD A "FAN" BEFORE OMFG I LOVE YOU BABE <3 If youre reading this im definitely up for a collab ;) ONWARD TO THE NEW 5SOS TRASH!</p>
    </blockquote>





	Illuminati CONFIRMED!1!

**Author's Note:**

> oh hey...its been awhile. how are you? Are the kids well?? Anyways, ive been okay. Besides all of the fucking bullshit twitter drama im F I N E. I was blessed to go see 5SOS at Tinley Park on the 1st aND I CAUGHT A MUKE MOMENT ON THE BIG SCREEN AND MY HANDS SHOOK THE ENTIRE TIME. MICHAEL KEPT WALKING OVER THROUGH THE ENTIRE SHOW AND I ALMOST SHIT MY PANTSFS. Also, I noticed that the last part of this flopped pretty bad, but whatever. It was shittier than usual, not gonna lie. But thats okay, I hope you like this one! Secondly, I wanted to give a shout out to this lovely creature, KayleighMcCamyo! SHE'S MY NEW CHILD! She's the cutest thing and she writes groupchats just like this one (except SO MUCH BETTER. Yet theyre not as popular......okay)! Anyways, I was reading her stuff and was about to piss myself, so go check those out ;) She proper fangirled on me when she replied to the comment I made, and I WAS SO HONORED IVE NEVER HAD A "FAN" BEFORE OMFG I LOVE YOU BABE <3 If youre reading this im definitely up for a collab ;) ONWARD TO THE NEW 5SOS TRASH!

Michael: hey earthworms

 

 

Luke: hello kitten mikey! :D

 

 

Calum: KITTEN?

 

 

Luke: yes calculus kitten

 

 

Ashton: i’m disturbed yet slightly turned on

 

 

Luke: right?

 

 

Calum: when tf did you and Michael get so close

 

 

Michael: idk he’s a pool noodle and he’s cute what r u gonna do ya know?

 

 

Luke: plus I like when he pets me hair

 

 

Calum: oh okay cool

 

 

Michael: calcium r u jealous?

 

 

Calum: nah its not like I saw you two being all heart eyes at each other all fucking night

 

 

Calum: no big deal ya mhmm

 

 

Calum: I didn’t feel ya know EXCLUDED OR ANYHIGSJGSJG

 

 

Ashton: Im still turned on oh

 

 

Luke: shut up ash tray ur annoying

 

 

Michael: aw Cal I still love u

 

 

Calum: really??

 

 

Michael: no I like blonds now HA

 

 

Luke: yaay <3

 

 

Calum: fuck all of you I’m quitting 1D would treat me so much better

 

 

Michael: okay

 

 

Luke: byeeee :) <3

 

 

Ashton: hey if you see Neil tell him Im still waiting for him to send me that Larry sex tape he promised me

 

 

Calum: WHAT

 

 

Luke: oooh forward it to me yeah?

 

 

Michael: shit I wanna see Lou’s bum imagine though ugjjggjfhgs

 

 

Ashton: shit I gotta adjusTJGHSLGH

 

 

Ashton: sorry my dick got uncomfortable oops

 

 

Luke: hi!

 

 

Calum: what???

 

 

Luke: nothing……

 

 

Michael: hey to change the subject did you see these two girls at Tinley Park?

 

 

Calum: well that’s fucking specific

 

 

Michael: CELULITE DON’T INTERRUPT ME

 

 

Michael: anyways

 

 

Michael: these two girls on my side were waving will smith heads during wamwesia it was pretty hilarious

 

 

Luke: Will Smith is so beautiful siiiiigh

 

 

Ashton: right?

 

 

Calum: right?

 

 

Michael: right?

 

 

Luke: right.

 

 

Michael: but then in the middle this giRL HAD A LAMINATED PICTURE OF MY FACE ON A STICK LMAO

 

 

Michael: I knew I was beautiful *fire emoji*

 

 

Luke: true AF

 

 

Ashton: wait

 

 

Ashton: wait

 

 

Ashton: WAHITHTIHTTH

 

 

Ashton: iS MUKE REAL??>!#@(&%&

 

 

Luke: ash im w/ u tf

 

 

Ashton: I AM EXTREMELY OKAY WITH THIS I AM ON BOARD

 

 

Ashton: WHEN DO WE START

 

 

Michael: WAIT R U SERIOUS?!??!?i$(($

 

 

Ashton: FUCK YEAH I AM LET DO IT

 

 

Calum:

 

 

Luke:

 

 

Calum:

 

 

Luke: ight im cool with it

 

 

Calum: LUCAJFHJFH

 

 

Calum: YOU SLUT

 

 

Calum: I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY CHILD

 

 

Calum: MY POOR INNOCENT BLOND NOODLE CHILD

 

 

Michael: ur just mad that ur left out

 

 

Ashton: but fr when do we start im so hornitaghaj

 

 

Calum: what

 

 

Ashton: sorry I was adjusting the jewels again

 

 

Michael: I bet theyre big jewels

 

 

Calum: MICHAJFHALJFHLJH

 

 

Calum: AM I THE ONLY SANE ONE IN THIS BAND

 

 

Luke: wE HAVE ALREADY TOLD YOU CANDLE THIS BAND IS THE ILLUMINATI WHAT PART OF ALL HALE SATAN DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND

 

 

Michael: #ignorant

 

 

Ashton: #OhNoCalum

 

 

Calum: dONTSJGJG

Michael: anyways ash tray huke are u down for now or?

 

 

Ashton: ive been wAITING FOR YOU YOU SHITS

 

 

Luke: oh fuck damn okay shit-

 

 

_**Luke Hemmings has left the conversation.** _

 

 

Michael: u sure u don’t wanna like….come with?

 

 

Calum: nO I THINK IM GOOD YOU PERVERTS

 

 

**_Michael Cliffo(tu)rd has left the conversation._ **

 

 

Calum:

 

 

Calum:

 

 

Calum:

 

 

Calum: buy She’s Kinda Hot on itunes :/

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'll put the names in bold & a summary as usual when I actually get some sleep lmao I hope you enjoyed! Love you lots <3


End file.
